Just Call Me Queen.... of Denial

Forty days.

I've been writing about my training and I've been mostly sticking to my plan, but I haven't quite admitted where I'm really at in my training right now.

At the Carowinds Run and Ride I tweaked my knee. I'm pretty sure it's my IT Band. It's frightening and annoying. It's stiff and tight and painful for the first two miles of any run and then it usually loosens up. Except when it doesn't or when something else starts to ache and I walk home instead of finishing. I've managed to finish almost every run, and I will finish the NYC marathon. It won't be under 6:30, that's for sure.

It's hard for me to type this, the equivalent of saying it out loud.

It's not real until you say it out loud. Or type it.

Ya know?

I have canceled my Mainly Marathon trip, which makes Marathon Maniac and Double Agent out of the question as well.

These things happen, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. 

All of the woulda, shoulda, coulda things start going through your head. I should have followed a Higdon plan. There are too many run days on this plan. I should never have stopped doing PiYo every day. I should have stretched more. I could have planned this better. 

And on and on it goes.

I just felt the need to face it today. 

I will be on the couch today, resting my leg and wallowing. 

But I will finish the NYC marathon, and it will likely be an ugly finish. And I'm okay with that.